Articles - Subliminal Seduction

Though every woman longs to be masterfully seduced, today's high-speed sex often by-passes this fine art.

So, gentlemen, if you wish to enhance your skills of subliminal seduction and want to ignite her passion before you ever touch her, inspiring her to make that first electrifying move, read on:

Want to be irresistible to her? The first rule is to treat her with respect. "Women are very susceptible to touching," says Judy Kuriansky, New York clinical psychologist and author of The Complete Idiot's Guide To Dating (Alpha Books, 1996). "If you touch her things, if you gently move her briefcase or admire her ring by delicately touching it, the subliminal message you're sending is that you respect her and will touch her with the same consideration and care."
What women find most attractive is attention paid to her, says Colorado Springs relationship therapist Dr. Miriam Blum. "Whether it's eye contact, something that conveys interest or an aura of anticipation, a gentleman won't let his eyes wander, though as the seduction progresses, looking around a woman's body will evoke a response." If she accepts your attention, she'll make eye contact, turn toward you and smile. Her lips might thicken a little as her blood flow increases and she'll colour, become tumescent. "The face is a rich playground for non-verbal communication," states Blum. "And the astute seducer will notice these changes and know how to proceed."
But eyes don't tell the whole story, cautions Sam Chwat, speech therapist and director of New York Speech Improvement Services. "Though eyes are a primitive alerting device that let you know where a woman's interests lie, they can send mixed messages. If she catches you staring at her ice cream, she might assume you want a bite. If she's a Freudian, she might assume you want a bite of something else. If you're staring at her breasts or lips, she might think you're appraising your chances of a successful sexual advance. "While eyes, along with the ears and mouth, are potent and frequently overlooked organs of communication," he adds, "they're agents of reciprocal communication." When you let your eyes meet hers, you're waiting for that empathic click of connection. "However, be cautious here," Chwat stresses. There's a dramatic difference between a stare and a gaze. In fact, a fleeting glance at parts of the face and body are more provocative than a penetrating ogle.
Kuriansky adds that staring too intensely straight into a woman's eyes can be threatening. "Instead, smile, turn your head slightly and tilt it. That's a sign that you're willing to submit."

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Don't neglect the art of conversational seduction. Though no woman can resist sincere flattery, why not ask her questions instead of talking non-stop, suggests Blum. "If a woman says something in casual conversation the day before and you repeat it, you've proven you really listened. You're communicating your interest by your recall. Attention is the single most seductive motivator."
"Yet mirroring someone's gestures can be tricky, even annoying," counters New Jersey body language pioneer and behavioural analyst Maxine Lucille Fiel. "In a moment of awkwardness, one and no more than two matching techniques, carefully executed can ease the tension. Eventually, if you're in tune, you'll do it automatically. Your body takes over its own rhythms. Seduction is a dance, as primal as sending smoke signals or beating drums."
Certain universal facial language should be shunned, says Chwat. "Rolling your eyes in response to a woman's remark may make you look as if you're mocking her. One of the goals of intimacy is to make her not only feel wanted, but to communicate that you're taking her seriously."
Licking your lips may give you the visage of the big bad wolf, seemingly lascivious and sexually predatory, he warns. But by gently biting your lower lip or flashing a fleeting smile, you appear less threatening. And while we're on the subject of your lips ... guys? Use Chapstick. Imagine kissing a piece of sandpaper -- "Chapped lips are a turn off."
Facial proximity is slippery geography to navigate. The distance between faces can be alienating if you don't know where to direct your breath. "After all," quips Chwat, "you don't want to fog her contact lenses."
Seduction engages all senses. In their landmark book on the controversial subject of human pheromones, The Scent Of Eros: Mysteries Of Odor In Human Sensuality (Continuum, 1995), Jim Kohl and Robert Francoeur, PhD discuss the chemistry of attraction -- principly the sexual potency of odours and the controversy over pheromones, those naturally occurring chemicals released through animals' skin.
"What humans are doing with pheromones is trying to enhance their ability to attract other people, like male dogs are attracted to bitches in heat," states Kohl, a respected Las Vegas scientist who has studied these subliminal scents influencing how some animals mate for more than 20 years. There's good evidence that human pheromones exist and that they influence hormone levels, he explains. "Hormones influence behaviour, but as yet, there's no definitive scientific proof that human pheromones influence human behaviour." So, adding a pricy odourless liquid to your aftershave probably won't transform you into a woman-magnet, but raising your testosterone levels might, Kohl offers. "By working out in a gym, you'll increase your testosterone levels and your musculature, naturally increasing your pheromones. Losing weight produces a more masculine pheromone profile, enhancing your natural body and your chemistry, so you smell, at a subconscious level, more masculine."
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Eating is the ultimate metaphor for lovemaking. Remember that famous scene in the film Tom Jones? Try this. Sit face to face. Feast your eyes on her mouth and tongue as she nibbles on her meat, while savouring the tastes, smells, sounds and textures of yours. "If you offer to share what's on your plate with her, you're sharing yourself and showing your generosity," says Fiel. "You're giving her something without touching her." Something of yours is now inside her.
There's no better way to enchant a woman than by cooking for her, suggests Martha Hopkins, co-author of Intercourses, An Aphrodesiac Cookbook (Terrace, 1997). "The act of cooking for a woman is a way of saying, 'I like you. You're worth my time.' If you like, buy food and dress it up. Make it look pretty. Food offers many avenues of seduction." Whether it's a homemade milkshake you take to her office or a wonderful picnic you pack, it doesn't have to be complicated, she claims. Strawberries and chocolate are perfect to feed the woman you want to love.
But keep this caveat in mind. "Foods that make you feel sexy, like chocolate, raise the brain's seratonin levels, but they also make you overweight because they're sugars," warns physiologist Dr. Robert Friar of Ferris State University in Big Rapids, Mich. "Chocolate has the most profound effect, but at best it's minimal and will last 20 to 30 minutes. You couldn't eat enough chocolate to make a real difference."
And a little alcohol is known to lower inhibitions, adds Friar. "Though wasn't it Shakespeare who said that it increases the desire but decreases performance?"
"I know a man who took a woman out for a drive on their first date," states Hopkins. "He packed cold, fresh water, sliced Gruyere and cheddar cheeses, wheat crackers, grapes and strawberries cleaned and ready to eat. And for fun, Pringles potato chips and Kit Kats. He'd thought about it, they talked about it, it broke the ice. It was like giving her a sweet present."

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"If music be the food of love," play the blues or jazzy ballads of Cole Porter or Billie Holiday, says pop-culture guru Leo Braudy, University of Southern California Professor of English and Film. "They're part of a tradition of flirtation and seduction. Listening together, you're establishing a bond, especially if you and she have the same taste."
As for ideal dates, physical activity is a natural turn-on because it raises endorphin levels, those wondrous natural highs elicited from exercise. So get out and do things together, advises psychologist and sex therapist Linda DeVillers of El Segundo, Calif., and author of Love Skills (Impact, 1997). "Pack that picnic and take a walk on the beach, hike in the woods, play miniature golf or beach volleyball. If you're both into it, work out together. Do non-competitive things that allow you to chat."
If you're going to catch a flick, why not focus on famous couples -- videos starring Bogie and Bacall, Tracy and Hepburn, Astaire and Rogers. In contemporary film, try Hanks and Ryan, advises Braudy. Though Runaway Bride might be fast-tracking your intentions, the chemistry between Gere and Roberts is coquettishly carnal and can't help put her in the mood. "These films may suggest a possible analogy to what you want." "Of course, there's always Last Tango In Paris," he sarcastically tosses out.
Image is the primary and pivotal message you send a woman. Don't ignore it. "If a man is tastefully put-together and he wears his clothes with an air of confidence, he will be sexy whether he's in jeans or a tux," says Harry Rosen, Toronto's longstanding dean of sartorial style. "But of late, casual dress is a real turn-on for many women." Harry's tips? Body-hugging knit long-sleeved shirts with crew necks in black and pleatless pants in wool and spandex cut slim in the thigh and leg to allow freedom of movement, worn with wide belts.
"Be aware of who you are and dress in clothes that reflect that image," states Valerie Steele, chief curator of the Museum at New York's Fashion Institute of Technology.
"Though we women are more aware of fashion than (men), and more stimulated by touch, quality is really more important to us than the latest trend or style. We're used to handling fabrics and know the feel of something expensive. So cashmere or suede will turn us on more than polyester.
"And women 'read shoes,' something you guys don't realize," says Steele, author of eight books, most recently, Shoes -- A Lexicon Of Style (Rizzoli, 1999). "Though nobody expects you guys to be on the cutting edge of fashion, we can tell by the style and condition of your shoes if you're a professional, an artsy intellectual, a preppy or a cowboy." Avoid tasselled loafers -- "They're sleazy," quips Steele. This fall, she says, Timberlaine boots, shoes with squarish toes and thick lug soles, and boots in brown will be hot.
As the brain is the body's biggest sex organ, intelligence can be erotic. "I believe words are the ultimate aphrodisiac," says Tracy Nesdoly, editor-in-chief of www.indigo.ca. She recommends these anthologies of poetry and prose to help you emotionally seduce her:

Subliminal seduction

How to turn her on ...WITHOUT touching her!